. Get inspired by reading the above quote [""] Be inspired wherever you go with great quotes. . The lawyer said, “I’m here because my house burned down, and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. “We shape our buildings, thereafter they shape us.” - Winston Churchill. Funny Engineer T-Shirts from Spreadshirt Unique designs Easy 30 day return policy Shop Funny Engineer T-Shirts now! - Douglas Adams -. I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that’s cool!”. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. The mathematician, of course, has been watching all this out the window. One can reduce the temperature of the fuel below the flash point; isolate the burning material from oxygen, or both. Engineers Day Whats App Status. An Engineering student attended a Medical exam by mistake. it's funny how ironic life turns out to be, 63 Really Funny Star Wars Jokes The insurance company paid for everything. An engineer, a chemist and a mathematician are staying in three adjoining rooms at an old motel. much help at all. The bullet falls 20m short of the deer. See more ideas about engineering quotes, engineering, electrical engineering. Engineers day Facebook Profile Pic. With that in mind, I offer my top ten engineering quotes. “Engineering is the art of directing the great sources of power in nature for the use and convenience of man.” - Thomas Tredgold. An engineer is someone who is good with figures, but doesn't have the personality of an accountant. An engineer died and reported to the Pearly Gates. If anything, you’ve delayed my trip.”, The woman below responded, “You must be in Management.”, “I am,” replied the balloonist, “but how did you know?”, “Well,” said the woman, “you don’t know where you are or where you’re going. Engineer Quotes (123 quotes) Boss: Dilbert, You have been chosen to design the world’s safest nuclear power plant. A good scientist is a person with original ideas. It's funny how a hello is always accompanied with a goodbye. He smells the smoke, wakes up, unplugs the coffee maker, throws it out the window, and goes back to sleep. To an engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. The frog then cries out, “If you kiss me and turn me back, I’ll do whatever you say!” Again the engineer takes the frog out, smiles at it, and puts it back into his pocket. The second one is strapped in and gives his last words. The engineer sees the glass as twice as big as it needs to be. “Take the best that exists and make it better.” They find out that they’re to be executed for their crimes but none of them can remember what they have done. but the funniest part of all, is that none of that is funny to me. Engineers and Glasses The optimist sees the glass as half full. Life is like a gas turbine, After every compressor, there is always a turbine! A solution exists!” and goes back to sleep. You made a promise, which you’ve no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. He descended a bit more and shouted, “Excuse me, can you help me? Happy birthday engineer! Also, it was a very difficult and rigorous course. Engineering Humor "A scientist can discover a new star, but he cannot make one. An engineer, a physicist, and an accountant were being interviewed for a position as chief executive officer of a large corporation. Then why not share them with your friends? This is my top 20 favorite engineer quotes, nuff said. Quotes tagged as "engineering" Showing 1-30 of 190. it's funny how much you would lose if you forgot about your past, “But remember this, Japanese boy... airplanes are not tools for war. it's funny how one night can hold so much regret, Laugh at 17 really funny engineering jokes. The statistician leaps in the air shouting, “We got it!”, One afternoon, an electrical engineering student was riding across campus on a shiny new bike. TF2 class #6 Engineer Good things Capable of building stuff Bad Things Low HP A look at life to the right of the bell curve because engineering = magic. The first one is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if he has any last words. The bullet lands 20m passed the deer. 20 Best Banker Jokes So the engineer was cast down to the gates of hell and was let in. He pulls out his engineers pad and book of projectile assumptions. Great Birthday gift and Christmas present. Funny Electrical Engineering Students and Electricians (Images Story) Today, We are going to be off topic (may be not in some cases) to show you some funny parts of Electrical Engineering that happens or happened around us. it's funny how some many lies are packed into one love letter, I was amazed to find that there are some good programming quotes that are really funny and need some brains to figure out the fun part. Unfortunately, you’ll have to go through a lot if you want to be an engineer and enjoy those benefits. On this page: Engineering Terminology; Top Ten Reasons To Date an Engineer I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess, I’ll stay with you for a month and do whatever you say. Civil engineers build targets. Supernatural is a null word. Are you joking?”, And the HR Manager said, “Of course, …but you started it.”. He says to himself, “Hmm. They have a supply of canned goods but no can opener. He says, “I am a priest and I believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on behalf of the innocent.” They throw the switch and nothing happens; so they figure God must not want this guy to die, and let him go. “Hmm”, says the physicist, “You mean that some Scottish sheep are black”. . Kevin Hart Funny Quotes. That’s a mistake. Not only classic but Epic ? A theory may be so rich in descriptive possibilities that it can be made to fit any data. 20 Really Funny Grammar Jokes Later that night the chemist smells smoke too. 10 Engineering Quotes “As engineers, we were going to be in a position to change the world – not just study it.” —Henry Petroski, American engineer and author specializing in failure analysis “The scientist discovers a new type of material or energy and the engineer discovers a new use for it.” The goal of science and engineering is to build better mousetraps. Funny engineering funny funny engineering quotes funny engineer quotes File Size: 600 x 600 pixels (43827 bytes) Image Name: quotes picture quotes 4405 views File Size: 480 x 480 pixels (37220 bytes) Image Name: 50 funnyputer quotes funny quotes failure humorousputer quotes The last one is strapped in and say’s “I’m an electrical engineer, and I’ll tell you right now, you’ll never electrocute anybody if you don’t connect those two wires.”. You can also check out the best of funny acronyms. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He would have to ask an engineer to do that." ... but considers this anecdote to be too trivial a corollary to be significant, let alone funny. The lawyer looked somewhat confused. "Scientists dream about doing great things. Engineers operate at the interface between science and society.” - Gordon Stanley Brown. Where possible I have determined the original source but I also discuss other variants that occurred along the way. I'm a hacker, not an engineer. So later, when he finds that his pipe ashes have set the bed sheet on fire, he is not in the least taken aback. Choose a blank t-shirt to create your own from scratch. See his answers... the last one is ultimate. 20+ Funny Web Developer & Software Programmer Quotes We collected some cool web designer quotes not long ago and thought a follow up with the web developer version would be an awesome idea just so we don’t hurt anybody’s feelings if they are more coding oriented. He bends over, picks up the frog, and puts it in his pocket. “The road to success is always under construction”. it's funny how forever never seems to last, 60. “I am,” replied the woman, “How did you know?”, “Well,” answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is technically correct, but I’ve no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I’m still lost. Assume the can is open!”. The frog then cries out, “If you kiss me and turn me back, I’ll do whatever you say!” Again the engineer takes the frog out, smiles at it, and puts it back into his pocket. The engineer said, “In the neighborhood of $100,000 a year, depending on the benefit’s package.”, The HR Manager said, “Well, what would you say to a package of $200,000 a year, 5 weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years – say, a red Mercedes?”, The engineer sat up straight and said, “Wow!!! The engineer takes the frog out of his pocket, smiles at it, and returns it to the pocket. “I had no talent for science. 7861 matching entries found. Because we know how hard the process is, we went ahead and put together this collection of really funny engineering memes . 27 Best President Jokes An intern angel, filling in for St Peter, checked his dossier and grimly said, “Ah, you’re an engineer. Funny quotes. Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life. Airplanes are beautiful dreams. Jul 14, 2016 - Inspirational & important Quotes related to the electrical engineering background. She replied' the engineers make advances and add no detail, the lawyers argue details and make no advance'. Science is about knowing; engineering is about doing. It was a natural log. it's funny how people change and think they're so much better, An electrical engineer crosses a road when a frog calls out to him, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.”. The engineer smiled back came close to doctors ear and said I can pick any dead engine and make it alive . Piecemeal social engineering resembles physical engineering in regarding the ends as beyond the province of technology. Funny Engineering Quotes and Sayings. You’ve got an engineer? The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it’s my fault.”. classic!. Liked these engineer jokes? Three guys go down to Vegas one night, get drunk and wake up in jail. Here are 25 of the funny programming quotes in random order. Showing search results for "Funny Engineering" sorted by relevance. A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. They are not for making money. That doesn’t work either. Happy Engineers Day Quotes. You see, my ambition was not to confound the engineering world but simply to create a beautiful piece of art. it's funny how you can forgive but not forget, If you are Electrical or Electronic Engineer, Student, Electrician, Technician or hobbyist, We are sure that you are a part of one of them in the following image gallery. Send him up here.”, Satan shook his head, “No way. “I know,” said the Departmental Manager, “Let’s have a meeting, propose a Vision, formulate a Mission Statement, define some Goals, and by a process of Continuous Improvement find a solution to the Critical Problems, and we can be on our way.”, “No, no,” said the Hardware Engineer, “That will take far too long, and besides, that method has never worked before. You can also read funny car quotes and cousin quotes if you love humor. Funny Civil Engineering Quotes An engineer is someone who is good with figures, but doesn’t have the personality of an accountant. An optimist will tell you the glass is half-full; the pessimist, half-empty; and the engineer will tell you the glass is twice the size it needs to be. Mechanical engineers build weapons. What were they to do? Plus, the funny engineer sayings t-shirts you see above start at just $14.95. Please Like Us On Facebook Or Follow Us On Pinterest Now, 30 Best Funny Movie Quotes 10. 1. Artery - Study of Fine Paintings or military, not sure. An engineer is someone who washes his hands before going to the toilet. He should never have been sent down there. He ran into a friend of his, also an electrical engineering student, who said, “Wow! From here, it becomes an engineering problem; the engineer considers the ground motion that will occur and evaluates the requirements of the proposed structure in the light of the local foundation conditions. “When you want to know how things really work, study them when they're coming apart.”. Although some of which are pretty old already, they can still tickle a geek's funny … “No”, says the mathematician, “All we know is that there is at least one sheep in Scotland, and that at least one side of that one sheep is black!”. Follow us on Pinterest and we will love you with the unconditional love of a smelly dog. How does one put out a fire? What more do you want?” Finally, the frog asks, “What is the matter? Here Funny Engineer Quotes is a quote to enrich your life. That doesn’t work. And about the former I am rather more optimistic. There is no one area of chemical engineering that specifically helped me in my career as an astronaut, it was more the general education in engineering. I am an old man now, and when I die and go to Heaven there are two matters on which I hope for enlightement. We’ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there’s no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next.”, God’s face clouded over and he exploded, “What? If it is, document it. You’ll have to spend several sleepless nights and skip partying with friends just to study. But can you ????? Get it right….CIVIL ENGINEERS. Funny Engineer Quotes - Find a happy and positive messages every day to light up your day. Frankly, you’ve not been Improvement makes strait roads: but the crooked roads without Improvement are roads of Genius. One day, God called Satan up on the telephone and asked with a sneer, “So, how’s it going down there in hell?”, Satan laughed and replied, “Hey, things are going great. A Mathematician, an engineer and a physicist were traveling through Scotland when they saw a black sheep through the window of the train. He worked it out with a pencil. Engineering Quotes Sayings & Quotations Collection. 77 Best Funny Love Quotes That sure is a great bike. They would sure thank you for sharing these awesome engineering jokes. Custom and user added quotes with pictures. What's the difference between civil engineers and mechanical engineers? Get it because it has lots of funny jokes that will make you laugh. The engineer was interviewed first, and was asked a long list of questions, ending with: “How much is two plus two?” The engineer excused himself, and made a series of measurements and calculations before returning to the boardroom and announcing, “Four.”, The physicist was interviewed next, and was asked the same questions. it's funny how when you need someone they never are around, Our next quotation comes from the other half of the world-class and world-renowned brand Rolls-Royce – Henry Royce, engineer par excellence. He says: “Aha! “A girl came riding up to me and got off the bike, threw off all her clothes, and said that I could have anything that I wanted.”, “Wow,” remarked his friend. Quote #1. Antibody - One who hates his body . Engineering quotes. What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? mechanical engineer, coffee, funny, caffeine, espresso, latte, coffee beans, cappuccino, cool, cute, awesome, quotes, sayings, mechanical engineer bestfriend, mechanical engineer boyfriend, mechanical engineer employee, mechanical engineer co worker, mechanical engineer staff, mechanical engineer personnel, mechanical engineer student, mechanical engineer graduate, mechanical engineer … “Aha”, says the engineer, “I see that Scottish sheep are black.”. Just kidding, I know you have a boring office job! 1. Pretty soon, the engineer became gravely dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and began designing and building improvements. The engineer goes second. He wakes up and sees that a cigarette butt has set the trash can on fire. The physicist uses his glasses to focus the sunlight to burn a hole in the can. Discover and share Engineer Humor Funny Quotes. After a few minutes he’s ready, he takes aim, and he fires. A chemist, a physicist, and a chemical engineer are rafting down a river. The scientist submerged the ball in water in a graduated cylinder and measured the displaced volume. So, it made me strong and resourceful. Many of these quotes are common in the profession, often attributed to various sources. Engineers Day Facebook Images. Happy Engineers Day Funny Quotes. See more ideas about humor, engineering, engineering humor. A good engineer is a person who makes a design that works with as few original ideas as possible. Did you hear about the constipated engineer? I’ve got my Swiss Army knife with me, and in no time at all I can strip down the car’s braking system, isolate the fault, fix it, and we can be on our way.”, “Well,” said the Software Engineer, “Before we do anything, I think we should push the car back up the road and see if it happens again.”. 1. Shop by fabric, brand, style or lots of other options for your funny engineer … I like having an engineer on the staff, and I’m keeping him.”, God was as mad as he had ever been, “This is not the way things are supposed to work and you know it. The engineer says, “Look, I’m an engineer. Programming Quotes. Where did you get it?”, “Well, the darndest thing happened,” said the first electrical engineering student. We did our best to bring you only the best jokes about engineers. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. “That’s quite a coincidence,” said the engineer. The physicist goes first. Explore 274 Engineers Quotes by authors including Scott Adams, Mark Zuckerberg, and James A. Michener at BrainyQuote. Engineer's Motto Engineer T-shirt makes engineers more bearable Engineering T-shirts & More Engineer's Motto Engineer T-shirt is for your favorite engineer who always tinkers and fixes things that aren't broken. One man's magic is another man's engineering. Grin and bear it with this funny navy 100% cotton Engineer's Motto Engineering T-shirt Make Funny Engineer Quotes Excerpts Work or motivation for daily reflection for the Workplace. The chemical engineer stands up and proclaims: “I’ve got it! The doctor smiled at the engineer and came close to his ear and said…. “I’m here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything.”. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. Top 50 Funny Computer Quotes byJun-February 03, 2010-88 comments If you have enjoyed our collection of top 50 Linux quotes of all time, I'm sure you would love these funny computer-related quotes that I have put together. Makes a perfect gift for the engineer, engineering professor and student. Software Engineering might be science; but that's not what I do. ; Engineering is the art and science of nuts and bolts. Engineering...to define rudely but not inaptly, is the art of doing that well with one dollar, which any bungler can do with two after a fashion. Either way, you will have a blast laughing at our hilarious jokes. The chemist tries to erode the can. An engineer, a statistician, and a physicist are out hunting. 30 Funniest One Liner Jokes “How do you start a flood?” he asked. Facebook Haha Funny Thoughts Secrets Hate Love. It's funny how a hello is always accompanied with a goodbye. The frog speaks up again and says, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week.” The engineer takes the frog out of his pocket, smiles at it, and returns it to the pocket. it's funny how friends can just leave when you're down, First the engineer’s coffee maker catches fire. 25 Really Funny Harry Potter Jokes I don't know where most of those came from, they were floating around on the 'Net. The car careened almost out of control down the road, bouncing off the crash barriers, until it miraculously ground to a halt scraping along the mountainside. 120 Best Funny Pick Up Lines Discover our 20+ funny birthday wishes for engineers that make getting older just a little bit easier! The car’s occupants, shaken but unhurt, now had a problem: they were stuck halfway down a mountain in a car with no brakes. 2. Electronic calculators can solve problems which the man who made them cannot solve; but no government subsidised commission of engineers and physicists could create a worm. Her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you anyway.”, A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. After a while, the underworld had air conditioning, flush toilets, and escalators, and the engineer was becoming a pretty popular guy among the demons. See some amazing funny engineering quotes below. The joy of engineering is to find a straight line on a double logarithmic diagram.